This is the story of one man. This man was not any more selfish than you or I, nor was he any more or less evil than the average citizen. But to him, there was nothing more important than his own life. His name was Maximus. At the point in which we will begin to observe his story, Maximus is not where he wishes to be. Maximus does not know what great and consuming trials future has in store for him and, in fact, he could never have dreamed in his most vivid nightmare that he would be where he is now. Where is he, you ask? Please have a seat, for the tale to be weaved before you may shake the very foundation of your belief in your fellow man. Perhaps, even in yourself.
The chains are tighter than necessary, of course. The blood is being cut off from your wrists and you can barely breath with that rusty iron choker. If only, you think. But one can't think like that – regrets. They could only lead to self-beratement. Not really a helpful thing at this point.
Think, though. How did you get here? Did you even see a glimpse of things to come, those terrible events that are now surrounding you like a less literal dungeoun than the one you've actually been placed in? No! It's no use. But quiet, for noises down the corridor cannot be ignored. Good or bad, they can not be ignored. And what are the chances that they would be good? Ha! That's good, the humor will help you sort this out, i'm sure of it.
The rattling of keys. "Stand against the far wall, fouler!" The door opens with an appaling noise. Nevertheless, the only music you hear is the cacophonous symphony of metal writhing around all that your world is. In such a large world, how can your universe be reduced to a cell and a dark hall? They take more than your body captive, those savage barbarians. How you wish you could yell at them. How you wish you could hate them. How you wish they were members of the Hideous Horde, or some other great body of evil-doers. But you know. And that's the worst part.
He grabs your chains, causing your wrists to bleed from the suddenness of it all. His fluid, thoughtless motion is the pain that consumes your mind – eliminating all other thoughts.
Well, not every other thought. No, no matter what they do, they can never remove from you the joy of the memory of her. Even marred with the questions about her safety and what may have been done to her, the joy of the memory of her can never be taken. It is yours to treasure, is it not? Hold on to it. The only thought beyond this dank imprisonment. "Walk, you fool of a brother!"
Oh, yes – you almost forgot. But he just won't let you. Why won't he let you believe that he was some savage stranger and not your own blood brother? It must be another move in their master plan. Whatever that plan may be.
The floor feels colder than possible, but at least the walls are farther apart than in your cell. Empty cell after empty cell. They must already have him out there prepped to kill you. But he will fail. As they all have failed, so they all will fail. And all you recieve from your staged murders are mere pieces of assumed value. Useless trinkets if seperated from those who are so easily convinced by it.
As they place the choices in front of you, the horror of it all makes you question why you can't just lose this once, and be forever rid of all of this. Because of her, of course. Her hair ... Her skin ... Her lips ... Her fragrance. You choose the hookshot, much to their surprise. What was meant to be a joke is now your only visible means of escape. Good luck to you, my friend.
"Welcome, one and all. Fresh beer and unmatched entertainment are yours for one mundanely epic event." The crowd laughs. I don't feel so good. Should I really have chosen the hookshot? The choice between a longsword, a hookshot, or a dagger, and I choose the hookshot. I hope they are confused as I am. Ha. My grin slipped from the recesses of my mind past the facade and straight onto my actual lips. And the whip. Ooh, didn't see that one coming. Sarcasm. Alright, just announce my enemy and let my choice be made already.
"On this chain, we have Maximus: enemy of the empire." Their cries of "boo" are nothing to me. I'm used to it. Besides, they're trapped here more than I am. At least my thoughts are elsewhere. What fools. All of you. If the council wasn't so busy hiring wayward women to feed them exotic imports, maybe they could find the time to send a policeman down here. Is my innocence that hard to prove? No, you blind morons.
"And here we have today's executioner, Ahab the Sometimes Ferocious!" The crowd laughs. Ahab looks at me with intense hatred. That will make this easier for me. Money well spent. Ha ha, Ahab, Ha ha.
"Commence with the festivities." Ahab stares at me 'ferociously.' Ha! "That means Go, gentlemen."
No matter how much the crowd laughs or the arena manager prods, I must wait for Ahab to charge me.
Well, you simple minded, this is why. The arena is surrounded by an electric fence which prevents me from escaping. You'll see, I won't waste my time explaining simplicity to it's inventors. I crack myself up sometimes.
Ooh, is he going to do it? A glint in his eyes. Run, bull, run. Charge me and seal my freedom. Aha!
He runs toward me thinking he can shove me into the fence. Fool. I jump straight up and into him. This sends me flying backwards, that ox of a man just launched me over the fence! No luck, just skill. I smile at all the ladies present and then look more menacingly toward the manager. Oh, the look on his face is priceless. He wonders how I'll survive the fall. Did I mention that the arena is on a plateau? I raise my hookshot to meet his sight. Oh, how the foolish are thwarted by their own amusements.
Well, well, Maximus. I am impressed. Escaping wasn't something that they thought would happen, hm? Give them a taste of their own future-clouding medicine. Your hookshot may have saved you from all that used to seem endless, but have you forgotten that it is also your only asset? You can't eat a hookshot.
